


Im HERE im QUEER and I LOVE POLY

by PeterParkerFanboy



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Crack, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Polyamory, Texting, Therapy, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, Twitter Fic, groupchats, idk how to tag, non-binary harley keener
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 13,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterParkerFanboy/pseuds/PeterParkerFanboy
Summary: a texting twitter fic of wholesome fun? a crackfic without plot? some plot? idek I'm bored and stuck inside and need something to keep me busy enjoy
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man)/Pepper Potts, Michelle Jones/Ned Leeds/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Academic Decathlon Team (Spider-Man: Homecoming), Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 36
Kudos: 313





	1. Spiders are weird

**Author's Note:**

> i have dyslexia sorry for mistakes

[Spoody squad]

Ned: Stark we have a problem  
MJ: peter ripped his leg off and neds flipping out pete saying its fine tho  
Spidey: itll grow back i just need food.  
Spidey: also stark we need money for food dont tell may i told you  
Mr.Dad: ill send money some to your card also 6 pizzas are being delivered to your apartment paid for already  
Mr.Dad: why so short on cash this month? Youre always welcome to live in the tower  
Spidey: therapy and 4 new backpacks

[Co-parent squad]

Stark: are you sure you guys dont want to live in the tower  
May: peter told you were having money problems?  
Stark: he ripped his leg off and it wont grow back unless he eats enough, also i sent money to his card and six (6) pizzas to your house  
May: thanks but i can handle this  
Stark: im just covering groceries for the week spider-baby eats a lot and maybe therapy if youd let me?  
May: fine. But just because he cant live on oatmeal and ramen and im already working so much  
Stark:just tell me if you need more help i can take him for more then just weekends. Maybe adopt him? We can actually co-parent??? 

(twitter)

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam

Might fuck around and adopt a child. Well, a teenager.

Pepper Potts @CEOofSI

Finally? I’ll get the papers ready

Intern of SI @pbp

Im sorry what? I knew we have a father/son thing but adopt me????

Gotta go fast @flashthompson

Ha liar penis(or lack thereof) parker like The Tony Stark or anyone would want you

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam

Say transphobic comments to my future son one more time and say bye-bye to going to any college/uni 

Iron man can vore me @ironstan

I love tony is just adopting some random teen and standing up to the transphobes

[May to Peter]

Pete: mr.stark wants me?  
May: anyone in the right mind would want you spider babe he wants us to co-parent and split time. Youll live with tony for one week then me for another and yea  
Pete: thats amazing!!!  
May: has your leg grown back yet? Tony told me about that….  
Pete: its back and sorry about that i can add you to the spoody squad?

[Spoody squad]

Spidey: im adding May also Mr. Dad thank you for wanting me  
(Spidey added Best Aunt)  
Best Aunt: how many times do i need to tell you anyone who is worth anyhting would want you  
MJ: yea youre an actual puppy, you do so much and literally save the world  
Ned: talk to your therapist about not feeling wanted  
Mr.Dad: dont thank me for wanting the literal best child in the world im glad we met. Love you kiddo  
Spidey: love you too mr.dad  
MJ: gross emotions  
Ned: thats not what you said this morning  
Spidey: yea you said you loved us hehehe  
MJ: i want a divorce  
Ned: ;(  
Spidey: );  
Mr.Dad: kids go work out your emotions i know for a fact your all sitting on the couch eating food rn  
Ned: your right but still 

[acdec is bes]

Cindy: did yall see the news on twitter yesterday  
MJ: i swear if you all start gossiping about my boyfriend’s life…. I mean ill join but he’ll make me feel guilty about it.  
Peter: i mean i told you i had an internship it just kinda went from there  
Flash: no way in hell you clearly hacked his twitter  
Peter: whatever i dont care about trying to stop you anymore  
Ned: babyyy want me to come over?  
Peter: no im shopping with mr.dad and may  
Betty: Mr.dad?  
MJ: Its what he calls stark  
Abe: why?  
Ned: because he thinks calling someone else dad would be rude to his bio one  
Charles: makes sense  
Mr.Harrington: i really thought this chat was going to just be for meetings and help….. Not gossip and memes  
MJ: you can leave  
Mr.Harrington: i gotta make sure you are not planning school shootings and i still need a place to make announcements  
Abe: lame  
Mr.Harrington:...... i also want in on the drama. Like who is peter actually dating im so confused? Or is like a poly relationship? Anyways stop cuddling at lunch its PDA  
Peter: Its a poly thing and no. my dads tony stark i can cuddle with my partners.  
Peter: Mr.dad is yelling at me for being on my phone oops bye  
Cindy:Damn he really pulled the “dO yOu KNoW wHO mY DaD IS” card  
MJ: that is one of my dumbass boyfriends  
Ned: im upset that you’re calling me a dumbass as well but you are correct. Also we still on for a movie tonight?

[poly is best]

Spider: so my room is almost set up at the tower you guys wanna come cuddle? Fix time staying at the tower for this long  
MJ: everything will be fine youre going to be fine  
Ned: are you overwhelmed im sure you can go to Mays if you start feeling overwhlemed  
MJ:Giant cuddle sleepover tonght?  
Ned: Hun pick me up on your way  
MJ: i hate pet names so much  
Ned: so you arent smiling?  
MJ: thats the reason i hate them  
Spider: just hurry up  
Spider: wait i need to tell mr.dad  
MJ: leave it to petey to invite us over and not tell his dad  
Spider: may had a come over whenever rule idk what mr.dad thinks….  
Spider: he says its okay but FRIDAY will be watching us to make sure no funny business happens  
MJ: omw ned ill geet you in like 10 mins

[acdec is bes]

MJ: tony starks home is weird  
Abe: youre at the tower?!?!?!?  
Ned: yes? We’re hanging out with petey pie  
Sally: its weird that hes living there now like we talk to someone who literally lives with iron man  
Peter: i only live here every other week and friday scared the heck out of ned it was great  
Ned: im sorry the voice in the ceiling scared me  
Charles: lol what made her scare you  
MJ: friday is watching us to make sure we dont “have funny business” and they were getting a little PG-13  
Peter: MJ!!! I will tickle you  
Ned: its two against one love  
Mr.Harrington: ew this is not a chat to talk about pg-13 stuff  
Flash: come on like parker could live at stark tower.  
Peter: its parker-Stark now and he literally tweeted about adopting me????  
Flash: yea well i just dont understand how you could get adopted by iron man like why do you deserve that?  
MJ: peters had a rough childhood and he’s an actual puppy the best human on earth hes finally getting good things, things that he deserves  
Peter: thanks babe now lets get off our phones and have a cuddle pile  
Cindy: lol will friday yell at you for that  
Ned: its a three strikes your out system so lets hope not  
Ned: we’ve already got 2


	2. Tony Stank

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Adoption is done!! I’m co-parenting with @pbp s aunt and if anyone takes pictures or harasses my kid just remember I have the best lawyers and you will be sued

Pepper Potts @CEOofSI  
If any pictures get taken of @pbp who is a MINOR don’t think we will not shut whatever magazine or paper you work for. It will be gone :)

Son of Stark@pbp  
I love you Mr.Dad and CEOmom 

Iron man can vore me@ironstan  
I hardly know pbp but i already love them

Son of Stark@pbp  
UwU he/him are my pronouns but i really like that you didnt assume then :)

Son of Stark@pbp  
Mr.dad @youknowwhoiam can i do a qna? I wont give like my school or anything

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Sure if you have questions for my son ask with #askstarkson

Gotta go fast@flashthompson  
#askstarkson really(lack of) penis your lies are getting out of hand

Son of Stark@pbp  
I’m not lying flash what will it take for you to believe me….. 

EmJay@callmeMJ  
Baby it doesnt matter what that asshole says ill beat him up at school and im sure @codened will help me

NedBed@codened  
Of course i will anything for for my petey pie <3

fandom@random  
#askstarkson name? Age? Howd you meet tony?

Son of Stark@pbp  
Peter,16, stark internship 

nerdsquad@nerd4lyfe  
#askstarkson are you like a genius? How come you call tony mr.dad?

Son of Stark@pbp  
Idk i guess im pretty smart. He’s my dad but i wanna still give respect to my bio dad so it feels wrong to call him dad? Maybe ill get around to it its something my therapist thinks it would be good  
RawrxD @emoisrealandsoismcr  
Do you like MCR???

Son of Stark@pbp  
Of course!!!! 

Son of Stark@pbp  
Im gonna do homework know ill continue the qna later bye uwu uwu <3

[acdec is bes]

Flash: i can’t believe it the pepper potts just emailed me?  
CIndy: shes a queen whatd she say??  
Peter: she said if he doesnt leave me alone shes blacklisting him from all colleges and kicking him out of midtown as well as sueing the tompson family for hate crimes  
Flash: yeaa,,,,,,,,thats what she said,,,,,,,ive never been more scared  
MJ:good now leave my boyfreinds alone  
Mr.Harrington: if you think Miss Potts is scary you should meet my ex wife  
Ned: does this mean we dont have to beat flash up?  
MJ:yes loser we dont need to beat him up  
Mr.Harrington: im just gonna pretend i didnt see that.

[Spoody Squad]

Spidey: i want hugs:(  
Mr.Dad: kiddo its 3 am on a school night  
Spidey: i want hugs:(  
Mr.Dad: Ill be there soon

[Spoody Squad] in the morning

MJ: What was wrong last night?  
Ned: im sorry i couldn’t be there :(  
Mr.Dad: you kids arent expected to be awake at all end of the night. Spider-Baby had some nightmares  
Best Aunt: remeber his appointment at 10  
Mr.Dad:I know im driving him hell be at school after if he feels up to it. Im letting him sleep in a bit  
MJ: good idea. Peter text us after appointment/ school  
Ned: I love you peter!!!! Ill bring you homework if you decide to go home <3

[acdec is bes]

Cindy: Why inst @peter here? We had a history test???  
Peter: Therapy ill be there in like 20 minutes  
Flash: pfft therapy more like skipping what would make you need therapy anyway?  
Peter: oh idk maybe the death of parents my uncle bleeding out in my arms, almost dying from the drones at stark expo or the aliens that almost killed me and may in new york.  
Flash: oh shit wait what?  
Peter: what? I have ptsd from this shit and you being a dick all the time just makes it worse and rember what CEOmom told you  
Ned: hugs when you get here? You seem upset im sure tony can take you home instead….  
MJ: yea nerd you sure you dont need to go home instead?  
Peter: im fine loves we have tests and homework  
Mr.Harrington: Peter dont put school above mental health screenshots of flash being rude will be emailed to Ms.Parker and Miss. Pepper. And children, please work on your language  
Peter:Sorry Mr.Harrington i wont go to adec practice but Mr.dad just dropped me off at school 

[Spoody Squad]

Best Aunt: Baby im proud of you finally standing up for yourself but dont put school over mental health  
Spidey:I know May but i didnt wanna think about it anymore so i figured might as well be productive and go to school  
Mr.Dad: kiddo i know running from your problems sounds like a good idea but they just keep getting stronger from chasing you and then they catch up and beat you up  
MJ: wow stark so well written  
Mr.Dad: theres a reason i stick to science and math  
Spidey: i know just dont wanna think rn  
Mj:Can i come over and distract you?  
Ned: Me too?!?  
Best Aunt: as long as you use protection  
Mr.Dad: May?!?!?!?  
Best Aunt: ha like your one to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 this is probably keeping me sane RN idk. Leave suggestions of what you wanna see. I'm thinking about adding shuri and harley because I can.


	3. Sonic the hedgehog

Gotta go Fast @flashthompson  
I would like to retract all negative comments I've made towards @pbp pepper is scary and I'm very sorry peter

Son of Stark @pbp  
I know your only saying that because CEOmom is scary and threatened to kick you out of school but thank you flash. :)

EmJay@callmeMJ  
@flashthompson if I see/hear you being mean to either of ny boyfriends again we will throw down behind Wendy's near the school

NedBed@CodeNed  
It'd be two against one flash be nice to peter. 

Son of Stark@pbp  
Aww I love you guys <3

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Stop being cute on main you have like 7 gcs for that. Hell im pretty sure you're all over at peters aunts RN

EmJay@callmeMJ  
You're right. We'll make sure to text only in chats with you in them. 

~~~

PotatoGuns@isavedtonystank  
@youknowwhoiam cant believe you adopted a random child before you adopted me… 

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
Who are you??? 

PotatoGuns@isavedtonystank  
Can you read???? I saved the old man's life duh

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Really kid? You couldnt just call me?

[acdec is bes]

Sally: whos PotatoGuns on twitter @peter do you know them?  
Peter: yea lol their a kid in Tennessee tony doesnt want us meeting lol  
Cindy: did they really save Mr.Starks life?  
Peter: I mean yes? But idk the deatails this kinda stuff triggers me.dads ptsd and gives him panic attacks so I dont ask  
Flash: its weird thinking that superheros get effected by that stuff  
MJ: i mean of course they do. Their human. For the most part..  
Mr.Harrington: you all are in class right now! Pay attention please.  
Peter: My dADs ToNY sTArK I dOnT hAvE 2  
Mr.Harrington: peter your literally in my class RN. Just put your phone away  
Peter: fine eee

PotatoGuns to Pbp (dms)

PotatoGuns: So howd you meet tony?  
Pbp: showed up in my aunts living room and now I'm his son.  
PotatoGuns: does the old man even know how to meet kids normally??  
PotatoGuns:he broke into my garage.  
Pbp: wow. Mr.Dad told me that we shouldn't meet lol.  
PotatoGuns: lol so hi I'm harley keener (they/them)  
Pbp: hi!! Peter Parker-Stark (he/him) and I will do my best with pronouns. Sometines I mess things up. Just tell me?  
PotatoGuns: wow youre really cool about that.  
Pbp: yea pronouns are important my girlfriend educated me and my boyfriend on that stuff  
PotatoGuns: youre dating two people?  
Pbp: Yea! Its great! One big happy Poly relationship.  
PotatoGuns: i didnt know that was a thing but it honestly sounds nice. Mutiple people to cuddle with?  
Pbp: yea its amazing!!!  
Pbp: so why the name potato guns?  
PotatoGuns: because when I first met tony I threatened him with a potato gun.  
Pbp: that's so cool! I never got to make one…. Uncle Ben didnt want me to waste food.  
PotatoGuns: makes sense mom got mad at me for it after dad left saying we'll need to live off oatmeal if I kept it up.  
Pbp: Big mood! I swear when May was between jobs all I ate was oatmeal for like weeks.  
PotatoGuns:lol trauma buddys  
Pbp: woo lol. We should get mr.dad to fly you up?!?!? We can make potato guns.  
PotatoGuns:ill bug him.  
Pbp: i will too. RN I'm at my aunts but I go back in a couple days.

[Spoody squad]  
Spidey: I've been texting Harley and their so cool!!! Can they please come up when ever their free????  
Best Aunt: who is Harley???  
Mr.Dad: a kid in Tennessee  
Best Aunt: I'm still confused  
Mr.Dad: ran into him when I "died" right after malibu he helped me out with the suit and I send them money and keep up.  
Spidey: they seem super cool! I wanna make a potato gun with them please mr.Dad please  
Ned: you better not replace me with someone with southern charm  
Spidey: as if I love you and MJ way to much to bail on this relationship.  
MJ: you better not bail. I can be scary.  
Mr.Dad: He'll be up in a month spring break time  
Spidey: yay!!!

Harley and Peter (no longer DMS)

Harls: i cannot believe you got tony to agree that fast  
Peter: hehe thanks. Are you out to mr.dad?  
Harls: no…. Why???  
Peter: well he kept using her/him pronouns well referring to you and I didn't correct him because I didn't know if you were out and yea. Guilt I guess  
Harls: ill probably come out in person coming out is hard….  
Peter: I know. I've done it way to many times.  
Harls: mood

[acdec is bes]

Peter: guess who's starting testosterone?!?!?!  
Sally: OMG peter I'm so happy for you!  
Abe: I'm really excited for you! Is your voice gonna like drop and stuff?  
MJ: you already eat may out of house and home imagine with the T amping that  
Peter: ooof you right luckily Me.Dad will help with that.  
Ned: you're not gonna like pass out at the needle right?  
Peter: that was one time!!!  
Mr.Harrington: I know what testosterone is but I'm very confused  
Peter: oh well I've been on hormone blockers for a while now so that I don't have the nasty female hormones and now I'm getting testosterone and I'll have to stab it into my thigh like every week  
Ned: last time he had to vaccines he fainted  
MJ: i remember that. Dumbass.

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm finally starting T shots thank you Mr.Dad!!!!

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Anything for my boy. <3 if anyone says anything rude about my son you will be blacklisted from SI and blocked. 

PotatoGuns@isavedtonystank  
We love a supporrtive dad !!

Harls to Peter  
Harls: congrats on starting T  
Peter: I'm so excited! Terrified but excited!  
Harls: haha I think I'm gonna come out when I come up.  
Peter: good idea  
Peter: do you wanna meet my girlfriend and boyfriend??? I can add you to a GC? If you're up for it?  
Halrs: sure why not  
Peter: yay!!!

[nerds +MJ]

Peter: everyone meet everyone. MJ be nice  
MJ: i dont know the meaning of the word. Hi. Michelle(she/her) only my friends call me MJ  
Ned:Hi!!! I'm Ned!!!! He/him nice to meet you!  
Harls: im Harley (they/them) nice to meet y'all  
MJ: are you using y'all unironicly?  
Harls: im southern and gay of course I use y'all  
Ned: makes sense but still  
Peter: be niceeeeeeee Halrs is coming up in like 2 weeks!!!!!  
MJ: i know its all you talk it.  
Ned: he also talks about animals he finds on the street.  
Harls: so what's it like living in queens? With spiderman?  
MJ: kinda annoying. I was just going to buy weed and I found out he got my dealer  
Peter: you shouldn't be smoking anyways!  
Ned: you smoke? And don't share….. Upset.  
Ned:╥﹏╥  
Peter: I'm disappointed in both of you.  
Harls: wow. Just. Wow. This entire chat.  
MJ: you can call me MJ  
Harls: yay!  
Ned: it took me and peter like a year to be able to call you MJ youve known Harley for like 20 minutes this is not far!  
Peter: be nice ned. Ill cuddle you at lunch tomorrow  
Ned: haha! Take that MJ i get extra Peter cuddles  
Peter: tbh I just wanna nap at lunch lol  
Harls: mood. That's why online school is the way to go. I sleep whenever I want.  
Peter: why online school?  
Harls: its an advanced school my towns education doesnt Reach my potential  
Harls: and kids were mean  
MJ: i understand that.  
Peter: I switched to Midtown because people were mean.  
Ned: and people are still mean.  
Peter: pepper wouldnt let them if they tried  
MJ: i worship the ground she walks on  
Peter: it's late. Bed time. Now. Everyone.  
MJ: fineeee  
Ned: alright  
Harls: your not my dad  
Peter: do you count tony as a dad? We can be siblings???????  
Harls: i mean hes a dad fifure so I guess.  
Peter: lol fifure bed time. 

[Spoody squad]

Spidey: I'm heading out promise to be back before 2 am  
Best Aunt: alright be safe <3  
Mr.Dad: Karen will tell me if you get hurt so dont try to hide it.  
MJ: be safe dork  
Ned: don't run into any building lol. Goodnight love you peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all instead of doing anything I'm supposed to do I'm writing this. Which like I'm stuck inside RN anyways theres not I'm supposed to do something its cool. What do y'all think so far???? <3


	4. Siblings wowoowodjcjidjwk

Son of Stark @pbp  
Harley gets here tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

PotatoGuns@isavedtonystank  
I'm so excited!!!!

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
This is going to be such a long month…….

memequeen @shuri

Wow you invite two genius kids to your home and don't even invite me the most genius of kids

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Princess Shuri you havent even met my son 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Ill give you his number you can be friends just dont corrupt my son that goes for you to @isavedtonystank

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I think Petes girlfriend @callmeMJ and boyfriend @codened already did that

Son of Stark @pbp  
HARLSSSSSS stop saying stuff like thatttt

EmJay @callmeMJ  
Well hes not wrong

NedBed @codened  
MJ!!!! Dont say stuff like that Mr.Stark will make FRIDAY watch us againnnn

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Ughhhhhhhh ewwwww i will be making friday watch you and the door will open im making May give the talk tho i dont wanna do that ew

[Spoody squad]

Mr.Dad: Mayyyy the kids are talking about sex and its grosss  
Best Aunt: Ill pick up some pamphlets at work

[acdec is bes]

Abe: i cant believe yall talked about that on twitter  
Cindy:it was so funny  
Mr.Harrington: what happened on twitter? Screen shots?  
MJ: its a little not PG-13  
Mr.Harrington: why would you talk about that on twitter?????  
Sally: (screenshots of twitter)  
Peter: can we shushh on that May walked into my room and gave me a bunch of pamphlets and ned is here and ughhhh  
Ned: dont forget the importance of lube…. She gave us like a gallon bottle  
Mr.Harrington: Aunt May is honestly one of the best parents i’ve talked to. And remember tomorrow is the last day before break  
Peter: Harley is coming up!!! For a month!!!  
MJ: im so glad i wasnt over for that talk i love aunt may but my mom already did that whole thing  
Peter: shse has pamphlets for you to.  
MJ:ugh

[shuri to peter]

Shuri:Hello young white boy.  
Peter:holy crap  
Peter: Hello your majesty  
Shuri: ew dont be formal me im just a normal genius teen  
Peter:okay hi!!  
Shuri:you give stong uwu vibes white boy

PotatoGuns@isavedtonystank  
Getting on a private jet. Take that school bullys. @pbp be there soon

Son of Stark @pbp  
Yay!!!! Im so exicted to finallt meet you. Dad!!! You should adopt harls 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Ill talk to harleys mom about it

Emogirl @xdrawrrrr  
I swear peter could be buy me an ocean and tony would do it

NedBed@codened  
Thst is 100% true

Son of Stark @pbp  
I feel called out… Mr.Dad is just rich so i get things i want. Dont make me guilty about it please…

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
You deserve the world peter. Now get off your phone we need to go get harls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones kinda short sorry <3 give me suggestions if you'd like


	5. Chapter 5

Tony Stank @youknowwhowiam  
The kids have been here for 4 hours and I don't think they've left the lab

Pepper Ports @CEOofSI  
Do I need to get the adoption papers?

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Yes please

~~~

Son of Stark @pbp  
Harls and I made Wall-E!!!!   
(Picture of a little wall-e look-a-like robot on a messy table)

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
He sorts threw trash and takes recyclables away from actual like garage. 

Son of Stark @pbp   
We're hoping to upgrade it with Mr. Dads help to sort types of recyables and compost too!!!

memequeen @shuri  
Ya know stark you should invite me I want to show pete and harls my ideas

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Shuri you can come later we're getting Harls settled down jeez. And I'm such a proud dad 

[acdec is bes]  
Flash:I can't believe Parker made a robot.  
Peter: its parker-stark now. And yea Harley is really really smart and I designed the prints and its so cool!  
Sally: I can't believe you made wall-e thsts so bomb  
Peter: he dances to music and sorts trash its like super complex like some other stuff I've done  
Cindy: have you ever helped with the iron man suit??  
Peter: a little bit not much Mr.dad really likes doing that by himself. I've fixed Bucky's metal arm tho!!  
Mr.Harrington: I'm glad to see you all are enjoying your break remember to do you homework. I know you have some.   
Peter: But building robots is way more fun!!!  
Charles: Peter you could probably like test out of school why do you stay?  
Peter: to spend time with ned and MJ  
MJ: wow loser you could be in college RN but you want spend time with us? Really?  
Peter: let me be. I want a normal childhood  
Abe: dude your dads tony stark normal doesn't exist.  
Abe: so did he adopt harley?  
Peter: Yes!!! There gonna be living at the tower full time and there mom and sister will visit regularly. I have a sibling!!!!

[Spotify squad]  
Spidey: should I tell Harls about Spidey?  
Mr.Dad: probably so their not shell shocked when you get stabbed and i have a panic attack  
Best Aunt: you should not be getting stabbed!   
MJ: be more safe   
Ned: just add them to this chat and then just be all I'm spiderman  
(Spidey added Harls)  
Spidey: Hi Harley I'm spiderman. Or peter. What ever one  
Harls: honestly makes sense.  
MJ: hes so bad at secrets lol  
Ned: that is very true I'm surprised the entire school doesn't know yet  
MJ: yea you literally disappear then spiderman shows up  
Harls: lol youre pretty obvious about it

tHeReS oNly @TwO gEndErS  
@isavedtonystank are you a boy or a girl

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I'm actually an intergalic demon I don't have a gender

tHeReS oNly @TwO gEndErS  
But what's in your pants?

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Normally a potato gun. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Why do people think its okay to harress my children? Im literally Iron Man I will fight you. 

[acdec is bes]  
Peter: Harley is gonna be coming to our school!!!!  
MJ: im forcing them to join the team their and actual genius  
(Peter added Harls)  
Harls:Hello people! Im Harley keener-stark(they/them)  
Mr.Harrington: hello Harley its great that you'll be joining after break. Nice to meet you.  
Mr. Harrington: now they'll be two know if all starks in this chat. (-᷅_-᷄)  
Sally:HI! I'm sally! (She/Her) nice to meet you what's it like living with tony stark?!?!?  
Harls: Boring. Hes actually really lame  
Peter: you wouldn't believe how much of an idiot he is somtimes.   
Harls: this morning he drank motor oil  
Harls: we had to rush him to med bay  
Peter: in dads defense he had been awake for 43 hours.  
Abe: wow that's my role model people.   
Cindy: lame spider-man is my role model  
Sally: wow tony stark really is just a normal human  
Flash: he drank what????  
Peter: motor oil. It was next to his coffee ╮(╯▽╰)╭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently watching wall-e with a dog sleeping on my feet well writing fanfics. Woo.


	6. Lightly stabbed

Son of Stark @pbp  
@youknowwhoiam I was lightly stabbed omw tho

Emogirl @xdrawrrrr  
I'm sorry you were what????

~~~~~

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Peters fine just a small stab wound. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
I was stabbed because someone was getting mugged and I wanted to help them! I didn't see that the bad guy had a knife…

SoftBoi @pasteluwu

Peter….. Is…. So… Soft???

Iron man can vote me @ironstan  
Imagine being saved by tony starks son like wow. 

[acdec is bes]

Sally: peter!! I can't believe you got stabbed, tweeted your dad, and didn't go to a hospital!!  
Peter: the tower has better equipment then most hospitals…. Its all fine! It was hardly a stab wound.6]  
Ned: Your such a liar! I'm coming over RN to make sure you don't overwork yourself.  
MJ: I'm coming to.  
MJ: cannot believe you.  
Abe: This is new york people get mugged all the time here peter  
Peter: I know! But I had to do something!! Doctor says itll be healed ina coupled days its nothing  
Flash: damn peter  
Peter: wow my name thats a first  
Harls: i cant beilive my brother is such an idiot  
Peter: im really feeling the love…  
Peter: im gonna go cuddle with Ned and MJ byeee  
Harls: use protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how many chapters should i make this?? or should I just keep writing tell I run out of ideas?


	7. Drugs?

[acdec is bes]  
Peter:MJ is dumb  
MJ: i just forgot Friday would tattle on us  
Harls: omg why did tony stormed out of the lab? What were y'all doing????  
Ned: nothing illegal I promise!  
Harls: hahaha totally something illegal  
MJ: no its legal! If your 21  
Cindy: oml really? You smoked in the tower?  
MJ: no! It just fell out of my bag.   
Ned: tony yelled at all of us  
Peter: and he called ned and mjs parents and aunt may   
Mr.Harrington: don't do drugs! You kids have bright futures don't get a record  
Peter: I already have my future job so its cool  
Harls: same kinda comes with being starks  
Abe: no way!  
Charles: you guys get the business????  
MJ: its kinda lame I wanna be CEO of SI   
Peter: CEOmom would probably love you as an internet/assistant?   
Peter: you can ask next time your over  
Ned: yea cant believe we're banned from your room  
Cindy: lol   
Harls: he totally couldve done horse  
Harls: worse*  
Sally: lmao horse  
Cindy: H O R S E   
Abe: h...o...r...s...e  
Harls: auto correct!!!!   
Peter: just turn it off  
Harls: not all of us have fancy AIs in our phones peter.   
Sally: you have an AI???!?!  
Peter: yea mr.dad made it for me   
Harls: and he claims he doesnt have favorites.  
Peter:he doesnt have favorites he made it for me because I've been his son longer. I got Karen like 3 years ago  
Cindy: why name it that?  
Peter: so I relate my dead name to something besides me  
Sally: smart wow. 

[Spoody squad]  
Best aunt: really kids? Drugs?  
Spidey:I wasn't gonna do them!!! Blame MJ  
MJ: a little pot is no big deal. Might as well experiment as a teen.   
Ned: honestly.   
Best Aunt: I understand that but you kids are so smart. And smoke is bad for the lung I'm grabbing more pamphlets from work  
MJ: that is why I make them into brownies and cookies  
Ned:and they're good!!!   
Peter: can I even get high?   
Mr.Dad: kids. Drugs are not cool. And idk pete.   
Peter: can I try?  
Harls: i will help in that experiment  
Peter: maybe it'll help with my anxiety?   
Mr.Dad: ughhhhh   
Mr.Dad: I can feel the puppy dog eyes so fine I guess go do drugs kids

[acdec is best]  
Peter:(screenshots of tony saying do drugs)  
Harls: so thats why you changed your name in that chat  
Peter: ughhh   
Cindy: you heard it here kids tony stark says do drugs  
Peter: if any of that gets to the media tony stark will kill.  
Charles: yea makes sense  
Flash: alright kids tony said we could I'll send y'all my dealers number if you ask  
MJ: i need a new one! Spider-man got mine.   
Cindy: that makes me respect him less tbh. Just let us smoke spiders  
Harls: oml this is to funny  
Mr.Harrington: kids…..   
Sally: oh fuck Harringtons on to us  
Abe: scatter!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smoke pot y'all


	8. uwu

[Spoody squad]

Spidey:should i make spider-man a twitter?  
Mr.Dad: ill ask pepper  
Mr.Dad: yea she said sure just be smart  
Spidey:ill have Karen make sure i dont say dumb things  
MJ: good idea

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
What up twitter! People said i should get twitter #realspidey

lams@lamlover  
HA yea right who wants to bet this is another fack

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Spider-man finally made a twitter stop bugging me know @Spider-PAN

lams@lamlover  
Oops seems like its real

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Sup people Yes i am Pansexual that is why my name is Spider-pan 

deadpool@mercwithamouth  
Yay! Pan buddys!

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Pan buddys!!!!

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Nope. your not allowed to talk to deadpool

[acdec is bes]

Flash: Spider-man made a twitter!!!  
Cindy:i respect Spider-man again. Just because he is pan  
Peter: so today i learned that both deadpool and spider-man are pan and im pan. And im happy  
MJ: nerd  
Sally: im just a disaster bi lmao  
Ned:MOOD

[shuri to peter]  
Shuri: i see you came out as pan today   
Peter:????  
Shuri: you are spiderman, spiderman made a post saying he was pan

[Spoody squad]  
Spidey: mr.dad shuri knows im spider-man  
Mr.Dad of course she does ugh

[shuri to peter]  
Peter: yea im spider-man but thats a secret  
Shuri:not a well kept one white boy  
Peter: im sure my girlfriend would agree….

[Spoody squad]  
MJ: Peter you suck at secrets  
Ned:so so bad  
Mr.Dad: its just shuri  
Best Aunt: honey you gotta get better at secrets   
(spidey added Shuri)  
Shuri: is this the i suck at secret identities squad?  
Harls: yea pretty much

Web-Slinging @Spider-PAN  
It has come to my attention that i am the worst at secret identitys

spideyman@ilovespidey  
Does this mean we can learn who you are???

Web-Slinging @Spider-PAN  
Hell no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tireddd and writing cause boredom


	9. Sleep whos she?

acdec is bes]  
Harls: i don't wanna go to school  
Peter: sameeee  
Cindy: I don't think anyone wants to go to school tbh  
Harls: okay yea but I haven't gone to normal school in 3 years!  
Sally: oo oof  
Mr.Harrington: it was 11 pm on a school night. All of you. Go. To. Sleep. Well have practice tomorrow.  
Peter: I have therapy right after school….. So i won't be at practice…  
Flash: and yet I'm still An alternative.  
Peter: I'm literally number 1 in the class?  
Flash: yea but you never go to practice  
Harls: flash remember. Hes a stark. Don't be a dick  
Flash:I just don't understand Peter doesn't even try and hes top of the class.  
Harls: he'll be having some competition know that im there  
Peter: yea like you'll do your work  
Harls: ur right but I'm offended.  
Harls: robots and potatos are just more fun sorry  
Ned: JUST GO TO SLEEP

[acdec is bes]  
Abe: huh. Flash is jealous. That honestly makes sense  
Cindy: u right  
Harls: its to early  
Peter: I'm bringing a thermos of oatmeal @mr.Harrington don't get me in trouble I'm eating in your class  
Mr.Harrington: as long as you still pay attention its alright.  
Peter: thank you! I woke up late and mays hardly has food RN  
Ned: group shopping after your appointment? I need groceries  
Peter: its a date @MJ wanna join?  
MJ:sure  
Peter: I hate the subway  
Harls: ive never been on the subway…  
Charles: ???? How do you get places  
Harls: happy  
Charles: what?  
Peter: Happys driving you to school?!?  
Harls: yup  
Peter: tell him I said hi!  
Abe: who's happy?  
Peter: head of security at SI  
Harls: he made an angry noise when I said you say hi  
Peter: yea that's happy.  
Mr.Harrington: school starts soon  
Cindy: ughhh i just got here and I hate it  
Flash: mood

[acdec is bes]  
Cindy: I'm bored. English is boring.  
Peter: school is boring I'm just eating my oatmeal.  
Harls: i honestly can't believe yourtexting in Harringtons class hes in this chat  
Peter: shh I'm trying to not get caught  
Sally: y'all flash just got his phone taken l  
Abe: f  
Cindy: f  
Harls: f  
Mr.Harrington: everyone! Off your phones. Seriously guys? Peter give me your phone  
Peter: how bout I put it in my bag?  
Mr.Harrington: good enough I guess ugh

[Nerds + MJ]  
Peter: just got out of therapy date time? Where y'all wanna met?  
MJ: delmers?  
Ned: I'm cool with that  
Peter: woo date time

[acdec is bes]  
Peter: I love not being able to sleep…  
Harls: peter its 3 am.  
Peter: I know. I'm having struggle  
Harls: talk to may?  
Peter: night shift.  
Harls: call dad hes still up.  
Peter: your still up too  
Harls: shh dont tell dad I forgot about the homework. 

[acdec is bes]  
Mr. Harrington: why were both of you up at 3 am?  
Peter: PTSD  
Harls: homework  
Peter: we take after our dad. Dad never sleeps.  
Cindy: peter you should stay home today  
Peter: already on the train with a thermos of oatmeal. I'll just sleep in first hour.  
Mr.Harrington: I'm your first hour….  
Flash: I'm still greatly confused on how you got to top of the class  
Peter: I am to tbh sorry mr.Harrington me sleeping is better then me on my phone?  
Harls: im telling dad about you still going to school even though you hardly slept  
Peter: dads a hypocrite  
Ned: baby I can be a pillow at lunch  
MJ: same  
Abe: aw Peterson wearing neds hoodie  
Peter: how can you tell?  
Flash: your tiny and it's like knee length on you.  
Peter: that's true but wow.  
MJ: how come you never wear my hoodies?  
Peter: neds are big are comfy im wearing those fuzzy socks you left at the tower  
Peter: nap time.  
Cindy: mood  
Mr. Harrington: peter drools in his sleep.  
Mr. Harrington: one of my desks are covered in drool  
Abe: mr. Harrington get off your phone and teach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder I have dyslexia so sorry for mistakes


	10. I want cuddles :(

[Spoody squad]

Harls: peterrrr when do you come back to the towerrrr  
Spidey: friday  
Harls: tomorrow?!?!?  
Mr.Dad: yes tomorrow  
Spidey: can need and MJ come for sleepover?  
Spidey: in the living room  
Best Aunt: lol need  
Ned: babe. I'm disappointed.  
(MJ change Neds name to need)  
Harls: can i join this sleep over?  
Shuri: can I join the sleep over???  
Mr.Dad: harley you live at the tower and please join them keep them rating G  
Mr.Dad: shuri your like forever away  
Shuri: And? Im working on a teleportation device…  
Spidey:Harls of course you can join.  
Spidey: Shuri that is so cool!!!!  
(need changed their name to Ned)  
Ned: so sleepover at the tower on friday!!!  
MJ: losers your in class pay attention

[acdec is bes]

Charles: (slightly blurry pictures of peter laying asleep on some chairs shirt raised so you can see his abs)  
Charles: since when did peter have abs????  
Ned: when he started working at SI may and tony made him take classes in case he got kidnapped.  
Flash: damn if he looks like that why does he hardly try in gym?  
MJ: Binder probably.  
Cindy: he does gym in his binder????  
Cindy: that's so unsafe  
Harls: we have a protocol at the tower that makes him take it off if he's worn it to long.  
Harls: he physically fought me because tony sent me to make him take it off.  
MJ: oof  
Abe: he knows we won't judge him for not wearing it right? @peter  
Charles: hes sleeping. In the library we both have free period  
MJ: why the library???  
Charles: we were doing stuff for acedec  
Flash: I wanna sleep.  
Ned: pretty sure peter sleeps more at school then home.  
Mr.Harrington: abe get off your phone your supposed to be doing work RN  
Abe: I finished it tho.  
Mr.Harrington: alright whatever  
Ned: Charles you should probably wake up peter  
Charles: but he looks so peaceful….  
Charles: hes drooling all over your hoodie tho ned  
Ned: I swear I accidentally leave clothes at his place and then he just steals it.  
Harls: Peter is honestly such a clothes thief I've caught him in closet stealing clothes. So has Dad.  
Peter: I like wearing to big clothes…. Dads college hoodies are great. And I steal MJs fuzzy socks neds shirts/hoodies and Harley I was out of clean shirts and your room is right next to mine  
Harls: woowwww  
MJ: is that wear all my socks are going?  
Harls: why do you steal dads hoodies?  
Peter: dad would always cuddle with me when I was over on weekends so I started stealing them for when I was at mays  
Abe: cute  
Flash: why would you guys cuddle? Isnt that weird?  
Peter: nightmares  
Peter: and I don't think its weird for my dad to comfort me  
Abe: you deserve such a great dad  
Mr.Harrington: most of you are in class rn!  
Charles: and your teaching a class RN.  
Mr.Harrington: yea your right

[Spoody squad]  
Shuri: im salty that I cant join the sleepover  
Mr.Dad: you'll literally be here in like 2 weeks  
Harls: were literally just eating junk food and watching Disney +  
Mr.Dad: @Spidey did you take your binder off?  
Spidey: do I have too???  
MJ: yes.  
Ned: I will take it off from you.  
Spidey: kinky  
Mr.Dad: ew ew ew ew  
Best aunt: just take it off.  
Spidey: fineeee  
Spidey: I'm stealing dads clothes tho  
Mr.dad: why?  
Spidey: there big  
Mr.Dad: alright.  
Shuri: i love you my broken white boy  
Spidey: love you too shuri  
Shuri: when im in america we all are having a sleep over.


	11. Cuddle are nice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggering stuff here just skip to next chapter if you want mentions of r@pe

[acdec is bes]

Mr.Harrington: (photo peter sleeping on desk drool puddling on desk)  
Mr.Harrington: does this child ever sleep?  
MJ: we were up late watching movies  
Harls: can I sleep in your class too?  
Mr.Harrington: no. I only let peter because his grades haven't dropped from it. He has a 100 in this class still.  
Flash: how?!?  
Ned: hes a genius.   
MJ: your just trying to get suck up points so you get cuddles at lunch.   
Ned: ur right  
MJ: loser. He and I are having a study date tonight so I'll let it happen

[Spoody squad]  
Spidey: I'm hiding in the bathroom  
Mr.Dad: why???  
Spidey: I got a paper-cut and ripped my finger off…..   
MJ: really nerd?   
Mr.Dad: I'll come pick you up. @Harls ill get you to we can have a family day  
Best Aunt: MJ bring his homework to yall study session tonight  
MJ: will do ma'am

[acdec is bes]

Flash: why is @peter and @harls being called to the office?  
Peter:Dad came to get us.   
Harls: some family thingy  
MJ: ill bring your work to the tower   
Peter: thank you <3  
MJ: ew emotions  
Abe: MJ we all know your secretly a mega softy  
Sally: I cannot believe you just said that.   
Sally: u finna die  
Mr.Harrington: its class time kids. 

[Spoody squad]  
Ned: what did you do with the finger??  
Spidey: its in my bag.  
Harls: i am disgusted  
Spidey: its like I can throw random limbs away!!   
MJ: so what do you do with them?  
Spidey: give them to dad he deals with that  
Best Aunt: I was so scared the first time he ripped a limb off.   
Ned: details?  
Best Aunt: we were moving the couch and he dropped it on his foot and then ripped his foot off and passed out.   
Best Aunt: spiders can apparently re grow limbs but I didn't know that!   
Spidey: yea how much of a spider am I??  
Harls: we should do tests.   
Shuri: wait for me for that!! I wanna help  
Spidey: alright funnn  
Shuri: ill be there in 4 days  
Shuri: we're all having a sleepover IDC about your plans im a princess.   
Shuri: and May I really wanna meet you.  
Best Aunt: aw id love to meet you to shuri

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Downsides of being a superhero. PTSD flashbacks nightmares its 4 am and something happened on patrol that gave me a panic attack

tHeReS oNly @TwO gEndErS  
Looks like there really is a little girl protecting us. 

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Ya know? If I ever see you being mugged or murdered I'm gonna walk away. I save an 8 year old from being raped. I remember being in their shoes but be a dick I guess

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'm stealing your for the night the tower is a safe space. 

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Thank you Mr.Stark

~~~~

Tony walked out of the lab, he hadnt been sleeping much from nightmares, and walked straight to his sons room. When he walked in he saw Peter under his desk. "Hey hun? You wanna come out?"  
Peter stayed quiet.  
"We can go to the living room and cuddle on the couch?"  
"Can Harls join too?" A small whisper so quiet it was hardly audible.  
"Of course. Friday wake Harley up"   
He led his son to the couch and put on some brainless 90s sitcom wit the sound on 4. Harley came stumbling out of his room obviously exhausted.   
" hey pete want me to get one of Neds hoodies and something of MJs" Harley is one of the best siblings ever.   
Peter gave a tiny nod and harley turned around. Images of skip in his head. 

After around and hour with Harley and his dad he fell asleep. Tony called the school and said they won't be at school. 

[Spoody squad]

Mr.Dad: Harls and pete won't be at school. Some flashbacks happened and they were both up really late  
Best Aunt: what kind of flashbacks? Should I come over?  
Mr.Dad: Skip flashbacks.   
Best Aunt: yea I'm coming over.  
Ned: should MJ and I be over after school??   
Mr.Dad: he'll update you on that one. Go to school dont worry to much. 

[acdec is bes]  
Cindy: Harley and Peter arent here? And they left early yesterday  
MJ: they have some stuff going respect their privacy.   
Abe: I can take notes for them in physics.   
Mr.Harrington: yes everyone please take notes and gather papers for them please? Bring them to practice we'll put them together.  
Harls: thank you guys. <3  
Charles: are Ned or MJ going over after school?   
MJ: we can drop them off even if we don't.  
Harls: you all seem curious and stressed but honestly we just need some mental health time being children of a superhero and having are own trauma.  
Mr.Harrington: alright be respectful and go to class.


	12. Sleepover!!!!!!!!

[acdec is bes]  
Peter: Shuri is coming tomorrow!  
Sally: like princess shuri?!?!  
Harls: yea shes staying at the tower  
MJ: we're still having a sleep over right?  
Peter: of course. Dont be surprised if she hacks your phones tho  
Charles: why would she do that  
Peter: fun?   
Abe: how is that fun?  
Peter: she just does what she wants  
Cindy: you're having a sleepover??? With a princess????

memequeen @shuri  
Gonna have a sleepover with @pbp @isavedtonystank @callmeMJ and @codened

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm so excited!!! Disney movies! ice cream! No sleep!

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam   
I'm gonna regret having all these teens in my house…..

EmJay @callmeMJ  
I'll make sure of that mr.stank

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
I don't really know who all these children are but I'm living for this

randomemu @1312  
@ironstan okay so @shuri is princess shuri @isavedtonystank is starks enby child @pbp is starks son and @codened and @callmeMJ is @pbp partners. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Stop gossiping about my children!!!

[Nerds + MJ]

Harls: we're legit having a sleepover with a princess  
Ned: yea we are  
MJ: should we add her?  
(MJ added shuri)  
Shuri: hello   
Shuri: so what we watching?  
Peter: star wars???????  
MJ: no.   
Shuri: YES  
MJ: no.   
Shuri: we can make lightsabers???  
Ned: what?!?!?  
Shuri: i have plans for it  
Peter: HELL YES  
Harls: yes yes yes  
MJ: why am I in a relationship with two nerd?   
Ned: you love us. And how will we make lightsabers????  
Ned: is this something we need to ask tony about?   
Shuri: nah   
Shuri: ill explain in person

[Spoody squad]  
Spidey: WE MADE LIGHTSABERS!!!!  
Mr.Dad: I'm sorry what?   
Mr.Dad: YOU DIDNT INVITE ME TO HELP?!?  
Ned: sorry but there so cool! Shuri is so smart  
Shuri: hehehe  
Shuri: im stealing your children and taking them back with me  
Best Aunt: your not stealing my kids.  
MJ: aww May are ned and I also your kids?  
Best Aunt: of course.  
Ned: aw  
Harls: i feel left out :(   
Best Aunt: your my kid too Harls don't worry  
Harls: :)

[acdec is bes]

Harls: we're in trouble….  
Peter: its not my fault!!  
MJ: how is it not your fault?!?!?  
Peter: I blame Shuri  
Ned: I also blame Shuri  
Charles: what happened?!?  
MJ: (picture of on fire lab)  
MJ: you humans wanna explain?  
Harls: ...we made lightsabers  
Ned: the first two (2) worked so well!   
Ned: and them we went to make another one and it blew up.   
Peter: it was shuris fault!  
MJ: friday tatlled on us and DUM-E sprayed us with a fire extinguisher.   
Abe: you….made...what?!?!?

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
The kids blew up the lab…. I knew I'd regret having @shuri over

memequeen @shuri  
We made two (2) successful light sabers! (Picture of Harley and peter having a lightsaber battle) 

NedBed@codened  
Look at that sibling love ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Just because you did something awesome does not mean I will forget that you blew up the lab!!!!

Iron man can vore me @ironstan   
Imagine having genius children who made deadly weapons because they like star wars.

Son of Stark @pbp  
Actually we made them so if they come in connect with anything other then another laser they shut off! So hardly dangerous

EmJay @callmeMJ  
My boyfriends are so lame.

Son of Stark @pbp  
(Picture of MJ small smile on face holding light saber) so are you uwu


	13. Tiny Stank loves his kids

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam   
Shuri goes home today after a week of nonstop torment maybe I'll have some god damn peace and quiet. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Ha no way I live with you. And my sisters coming up soon so hahaha

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Don't make me ground you

Son of Stark @pbp  
Can I meet your sister?!!?!?

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Of course!!!

I hate that starks @meanhamam  
How could Tony stark separate a kid from his real family? He's the devil

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
My pronouns are they/them and my home town was tiny and I was bullied I have friend's here and potential to actually have a challenge in school

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
And I have a dad. A good one! Finally. Thank the gods for that. I love my dad <3

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I love you too. I'm calling for a movie night I'm emotional 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Can me and May come?!?

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Of course

~~~~

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
(Picture of Harls and peter cuddled up sleeping) I love my kids. 

EmJay @callmeMJ  
Send me that 

NedBed @codened  
Me too!


	14. Names are hard :(

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Dear daily bugle: please stop

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
What are they doing this time?

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
I'm secretly your child and the reason I wear a mask is I'm an alien who has blue skin and 8 eyes

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'd think I would know if I had three children and wtf? Your literally just a human

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
I know that! Tell them that! 

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Are we sure your not starks kid? He makes your tech. @pbp @isavedtonystank do you know spiderman?

Son of Stark @pbp  
I've helped make some of his tech but I'd think I would know if I had a brother

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I already one have one annoying brother I dont want another one

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm not annoying!

PotatoGuns @pbp  
You steal my clothes and the tv in the main living room and I'm always put on babysitting duty when your partners are over

Son of Stark @pbp  
Okay maybe I'm annoying

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Children! It is 1 am bedtime all of you school night

[acdec is bes]

Abe: @peter you work on SPIDERMANS TECH  
Charles: ITS SO COOL  
Flash: Have you MET SPIDER-MAN??????  
Peter:I just work on his webs and sometimes the suit its nothing much  
Peter: he always has his mask on when I've seen him  
Harls: "its nothing much" you literally make spider webs the hardest thing ever to chemically create  
Mr.Harrington: sometimes I forget that some of you kids are actual geniuses…  
Peter: Mr.Harrington I'm bringing oatmeal to your class  
Cindy: what's with you and oatmeal??  
Peter: well I'm at mays RN and oatmeal is cheap and easy to make  
Sally: is it weird living with may and like worring about cash and then living with tony and him being super rich  
Peter: very much so. I'm trying to talk May into moving into the tower  
Harls: thatd be so fun  
Peter: she keeps saying no because she doesn't want dads money  
Abe: sounds like someome else i know…  
Peter: I came here for a good time and honestly I feel so attacked right know  
Charles: I literally tried to buy you lunch once and he looked so offended  
Harls: he hardly even let's dad buy him new clothes!  
Peter: ughhhhh  
Ned: I tried to buy him and MJ gifts for our anniversary and they both got mad  
MJ: yea and? I didn't have cash at the time  
Peter: I still have the poem MJ wrote me <3  
MJ:....<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ao3 refuses to post part of this chapter and I am salty


	15. Puppy dog eyes

[Co-parent squad]  
May: I hate asking this but do you think you could help me with some groceries  
May: my hours have been cut some and I swear petes living off oatmeal and ramen and I want better for him.   
Stark: maybe you should….. Move into the tower?  
May: its just so far from work and I don't drive and its farther from petes school  
Stark: one of my drivers can get you to and from work.  
Stark: Harls gets on just fine going to midtown   
May: I'll think about it.   
Stark: I'm totally gonna get pete to give you puppy eyes  
May: ughhhhhhhhhh


	16. I am tired and Im having a gay panic

Son of Stark @pbp  
Guess who's living full time at the tower uwu

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Wooo!!!!! May finally caved and decided to move innnnnn

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
She better not try to cook. I don't think I can let her live there if she cooks…..

Son of Stark @pbp  
Thats mean… She sometimes cooks…. edible food….

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
You mean instant mashed potatoes and oatmeal?

Son of Stark @pbp  
Yea that's about it. She burnt my oatmeal once tho

UwU @kawaiii  
You guys should get may a twitter

Son of Stark @pbp  
I did it. We're gonna regret it. @may-bee

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Peter hun how do I tweet?

Son of Stark @pbp  
You're doing great sweetie

[Spoody squad]

MJ: you gave may a twitter????  
Ned: who thought that would be smart???  
Best Aunt:I am offended  
Best Aunt: kids come help me move?   
MJ: ill help pack   
Ned: I'll try my best  
Harls: ooof be there soon dads driving so it'll be no time he speeds a lot  
Best Aunt: I can't believe im going to live in a giant expensive building   
Shuri: i wish I could help with the move :(  
Shuri: my teleporter is almost working  
Harls: im so excited!!!!!!!!

Son of Stark @pbp  
Moving is harddddd why'd I convince may to do this

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I could've hired movers 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
I didn't want random people touching my things

Best Aunt @may-bee  
The tower is huge and the ceiling speaks

Best Aunt @may-bee  
This is strange

Son of Stark @pbp  
It took some time to get used to but you get there


	17. Chapter 17

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I made Friday a twitter. @worldsbestAI she will be tweeting some of the dumb things we say. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
This is a bad idea….. 

~~~

Friday @worldsbestAI

Harls: i am not women nor man so what the fuck   
Peter: just wearing the pink dress!!!! Its floof

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Tony: I will sit here in this cupboard until they stop fucking yelling (video of Tony stark crawling into a cupboard in the kitchen faint yelling heard in background)

Friday @worldsbestAI  
May: the fuck is that?  
Harls: a cactus  
May: oN tHE cEiliNG?

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Tony: if the walls changed color how would they chose the color to change to?  
Peter: go to bed

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Spider-Man: *sitting on ceiling doing homework*  
May: *walks in loud scream then a sigh* can you hand me the creamer. Top shelf? 

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Harls: im a magical unicorn and no one can prove otherwise  
Tony: I literally can but go off I guess

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Peter: I'm just saying your twitter at is wrong friday! My AI is way better!  
Me: I will build myself a human form and fight you

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Peter: I just want a cat!*foot stomp*  
Tony: stop bringing stays into the house! I bought you a shelter!   
Harls: but daaaad shes pretty

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Peter: oh my gods I wish someone stabbed me  
Harls: on it ;)

Friday @worldsbestAI  
May: okay but why did you build a robot?  
Tony: why didnt I build a robot?  
Pepper: because you were supposed to be working

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Pepper: I dont care if he is high up I'm not meeting with that homophobe!   
Me: why not   
Pepper: Im a lesbian Friday. 

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Harls: so why are you in the pantry?  
Spider-man: I'm pan.   
Harls: but why just sit on the ceiling in the pantry?  
Spider-man: I was looking for oatmeal

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Karen(Peters AI): good evening Harley master peter has told me to tell you fuck off you're not getting your shirts back

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Peter: if coffee is made of beans does that mean its bean soup? Or bean juice?   
Harls: it is 4 am and we have a test please go the fuck to sleep  
Peter: fine. (Silence for a few minutes)  
Harls: is tea just leaf water   
Peter: I don't know   
Peter: let's go ask dad!

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Tony: Harls you need to wear clothes We're already late  
Harls: no  
Peter: mood  
Tony: I'm literally just trying to bring you to school!   
Tony: I give up I guess your both sick. Came down with the flu  
Tony: I'm a great father ughhhh

Friday @worldsbestAI  
May: I hate my job so much!   
Tony: I'll get you a new one  
May: why would I leave my job?

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Spider-man: I'm a queen people wish they could rock it like me  
Peter: probably not actually

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Pepper: Tony if you do not go to sleep I'm going to shoot you with a tranquilizer  
Tony: but arm  
Pepper: Friday how long has it been  
Me: 72 hours  
Pepper: I'll get the tranq…..


	18. Ew feelings

[acdec is bes]

Flash: okay but how old is spider-man???  
Harls: like 20ish why?  
Flash: fridays tweets said he was doing homework  
Harls: hes a college student.  
Cindy: that makes sense and he patrols after/before classes  
Peter: he's been at the tower a shit load recently  
Harls: yea wonder why  
Peter: ask dad  
Mr. Harrington: so why haven't you guys been at school?  
Harls: not a guy.  
Mr.Harrington: right sorry. So why haven't haven't you kids been at school?  
Harls: thanks. We have the flu  
Sally: yup sure totally believe that.  
Peter: the flu. Yup. Very much sick.  
Mr.Harrington: that's…..totally believeable  
Peter: dad got sick of trying to send us to school….  
Harls: we did make it hard tho.  
Ned: and what does may think of this?  
Peter: idk.  
Harls: im graduating early. I'm sick of school.  
MJ: mood but to much work  
Harls: im a genius?  
Peter: I thought about it but I like being on the team.  
Harls: im staying in this chat IDC if I'm out of school.  
MJ: I'll allow it.  
Ned: soft  
MJ: ew feelings


	19. May cant cook 😂

Son of Stark @pbp  
Sometimes I come home and see dads hair on fire sometimes its my sibling sleeping on the floor in the kitchen. Today my Aunt tried to cook and lit the kitchen on fire. 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
It wasn't that bad! 

Tony Stank @ you know who I am  
We had to evacuate the entire building! 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Like I said! Not that bad

Friday @worldsbestAI  
May: its just a small grease fire  
(Picture of entire kitchen in flames)

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Harls: this kinda stress is not good for the baby.  
Tony: baby? What baby?   
Harls: me. Im baby.


	20. I want to sleeep

[acdec is bes]

Charles: so Harls how no school?  
Harls: its great! All I do is build robots!  
Peter: give your self more credit  
Harls: alright so I built an AI with a form of a dog. And I programmed the dog to remind pete to take his meds and comfort him from attacks.   
Peter: it's amazing! It's like a service dog but for those who are allergic to dogs  
Flash: your allergic to dogs?  
Peter: no may is.   
Sally: that's an amazing idea!  
Harls: dads buying a thingy and Pepper wants me to do a thing and release it to the public.   
Mr. Harrington: I can't believe that. Wow.   
Flash: damn a 16 year old really did that.   
Peter: their a stark what do you expect  
Flash: mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching my sisters kids for a few days(she had some doctor appointment and we germs) and her 9 month old babe has like beat me up I'm covered in bruises he's tiny but wild. And 4 years olds. Are. Annoying.


	21. #irondad

Friday @worldsbestAI  
The children are having a date and I thought I'd share (pictures of MJ, ned, and peter sitting in the living room picnic blanket on floor) 

NedBed @codened  
Friday…. Why you gotta post pics of usssss

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Very cute date idea to bad the rain made it so you had to steal MY living room

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Let them be cute come help me and the secret project. 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
I love those kids so much. MJ and Ned really are perfect for my little man. 

memequeen @shuri  
Peter really be out here flexing like I can't even get one person to date me and he has two! 

gAy iS bAD @ewwwpeople  
Cant believe people are supporting this unnatural gross relationship

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Why do people think loving who you want is bad? I support my kids no matter what. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
You're the best dad #irondad 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam   
#irondad

Son of Stark @pbp  
Love u dad #irondad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I do is read twitter fics and write this. I've read like all the multi chapter twitter fics that include peter parker and don't contain Tony's death.


	22. Tony Soft

[Poly is best]  
Peter: I want cuddles :(  
Ned: its 3 am….  
Ned: did you hack my phone it was on silent  
Peter: yes I did. And I want cuddles.   
MJ: nightmare?  
Peter: haven't slept.   
Ned: can you ask Stark? Or Harls. Idk if my parents would like it if I snuck out  
MJ: do the subways run this late?   
Ned: I don't know I've never tried to ride the subway at 3:34 am  
Peter: :(  
MJ: how about we go there bright and early?   
Peter: okay.   
Ned: go cuddle with your dad or Harls we be there soon

Ned to Stark  
Ned: I'm gonna be at tower at roughly 7 am. MJ too.   
Stark: okay? You know its like 3:40 am?  
Ned: peter texted us. Said hes sad and want cuddles. So cuddle your child.   
Stark: on it. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam   
(Picture of peter and Harls cuddled up to Tony one on each side time stamp dating it at 4:12 am) I love them. But I got teenagers so I wouldn't be woken up in the middle of the night. 

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Tony is such a softy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing fanfics instead of sleeping :)))))))


	23. Tiny Stank

[Spoody squad]  
Harls: peteeeeeeeerrrrr  
Harls: pettteerrrr  
Spidey: yes?  
Harls: take your binder off.  
Mr.Dad: ???  
Harls: He slept in it.   
Mr.Dad: but Friday didn't say anything?   
Harls:he slept in my room and I'm 200% sure he slept in it.   
Spidey: I don't wanna take it offfff  
Best Aunt: honey your still a man with or without your binder  
Spidey: but… I like it….   
Ned: Honey. I love you with or without it you'll hurt yourself.  
Spidey: fine….  
Spidey: it kinda feels nice being able to breathe but also I really wanna not be seen RN.   
MJ: peterrrrrr your a handsome man very masculine.   
Spidey: thanks.   
Mr.Dad: We'll have to figure out a way to do surgeries with your mutation….  
Shuri: I will try my best, ill need some blood tho  
Mr.Dad:what happened to the last blood i gave you!  
Shuri: i lost it……  
Spidey: why did shuri have my blood?!?!?!?!  
Shuri: well im smarter then tiny stank so he had me figure out how to modify your testosterone. Told me it was for spiderman and I put two and two together.   
Peter: ohhhhh that makes since.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna eat ice cream but I'm lactose intolerant :(


	24. I wanna take nap

PotatoGuns @isavestonystank  
Peter and I are gonna paint each others nails! Probably gonna end badly but it'll be fun! 

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm choosing red with a gold accent nail because I love my dad

PotatoGuns @isavestonystank  
Suck up :( mine are black and purple!!!

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I somehow got wrapped into this…. (Pictures of Tony's decently painted green nails)

memequeen @shuri  
@pbp does painting your nails make you dysphoric?

Son of Stark @pbp  
No. I don't think fabulous nails have a gender. And my annoying sibling talked me into it. I like it tho. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystark  
I'm glad you like it :)

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Why wasn't I invited :(

Son of Stark @pbp  
You were out with your giiiirrrlllllfffrrrreindddd

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Low key offended @pbp didn't do red and blue :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having fun with this story give me suggestions or I'll just keep posting random shit with no plot


	25. Should I include the avengers in this? Or no? Idk?

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Sometimes I forget I live with people who are classified as geniuses. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
What do you mean???

Best Aunt @may-bee  
You went onto my floor this morning and yelled something about ham and passed out on the floor

Son of Stark @pbp  
That sounds like Dad. 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Peter, Honey. You asked me about how ceilings work yesterday. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
I was tired :(

Best Aunt @may-bee  
And dear sweet Harley. They asked me yesterday what 16+4 was. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
It was important and I was running on red bull and hasn't slept 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Welp. Now that im done roasting the geniuses I'm going to stop procrastinating getting ready. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I can help you get ready for your date may! 

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Please do. 

Pepper Potts @CEOofSI  
Aww may your stressing for our date <3


	26. I wannnnnna nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dog is cuddling with me and its the cutest thing

[acdec is bes]

Flash: @peter your aunt is dating Pepper Potts?????  
MJ: there a super cute couple  
Peter: you say that but your wrong MJ  
Ned: your still mad about that?  
Cindy: mad about what?  
Ned: he walked in on them making out  
Harls: it was gross! And they were doing it in the living room and eww.  
Peter: I'm glad someone agrees  
Charles: your life is wild peter  
Charles: like two years ago you were a just like an intern at SI and now your aunt is dating the CEO and Tony stark is your dad  
Peter: yea its weird we're getting close to the day he adopted me.  
Harls: are we celebrating?   
MJ: knowing tony he'll throw a giant party  
Abe: that's so cool  
Sally: will we be invited if there's a party  
Peter: of course! Everyone will be invited!   
Peter: well mr.harrington i wont invite you because that totally breaks school rules  
Mr.Harrington: it does your right  
Mr.Harrington: will be sad about it tho


	27. Formal clothes and non-binary dsyphoria

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
What do I wear for formal wear???!??????!??

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
Whatever your comfortable with. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I'm not comfortable in formal clothes at all tho. I wanna wear soft comfy pants and a nice shirt and a no tie but dad said no. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'm sorry cucciolo but this is a very formal thing. We can find something. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Maybe a jumpsuit? Something that won't make you dyshoric…. But is formal. 

PotatoGuns @isavestonystank  
It doesn't exist so let's aim for the least amount of dysphoria

Son of Stark @pbp  
Do I need to wear a suit?

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Yes this is formal. You need to look nice to support your sibling. 

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Remember the secret project Harley was talking about? Is this about that?

Son of Stark @pbp  
Yes.


	28. I want iron man as a dad ;(

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Did y'all see the announcement?!?

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Like Harley is 16 and they did that! A robot service dog that's just wow. 

RandomEmu @rawrXD  
And its cheaper and doesn't take training time just coding. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Of course I still recommend getting actual service animals but like for my brother his aunt is highly allergic and we can't have animals in the building. 

Spider-Fan @whoisspidey  
Damn you really are a good human

Starks suck @boothestarks  
Ha yea right all the Starks suck. And seriously what's in your pants Harley. 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
That is sexual assault and harrassing a minor. So like….. You'll hear from my lawyers. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Why do people think its a good idea to mess with my kids?


	29. MJ is a goddess

[acdec is bes]

MJ: would it be wrong of me to fight a racist?  
Ned: what's going on? Also yes punch them in the nose  
MJ: im at an interview and they won't give me the time of day but the little white boy with no experience is most likely getting the job  
Peter: tell dad he'll shut down the whole company.   
Sally: damn. People suck. And wow peter your normaly against using Tony's money  
Peter: yea but this is for my girlfriend not me  
MJ: i just politely told the old fat white man that my boyfriends dad is tony stark and he will be shutting you down if you don't stop being a bigoted ass hat.   
Abe: go MJ!   
Charles: we stan our queen Michelle Jones.   
MJ: you shouldve seen his face it was pure panic.  
MJ: he immediately started apologizing saying I could get the job so I just walked out  
MJ: gonna text tony about this now.  
Mr. Harrington: wow this entire chat just wow.


	30. Bug boyyy

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
I love life RN. @shuri you are actually the smartest person ever and i would marry you

memequeen @shuri  
Aww I'm just doing my best bug boy uwu

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
♡´･ᴗ･`♡

memequeen @shuri  
～(^з^)-♡

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
(づ￣ ³￣)づ

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Ughhhhhh go to sleep 

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Yes sir mr. Stark sir

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Oh shit I got stabbed

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Wtf kid! Omw


	31. Daily bugle ewwwww

Daily Bulge @bestnews  
Spider menace seen in the arms of Tony Stark which leaves the question are they just friends or is it something more?

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Ewwww wtf daily bugle he's old enough to be my dad and I'm in a relationship already he's like a father figure so stfu

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Okay wtf! I save someone who's basically my child and people are known shipping us?!?!? This is disgusting! Yes I'm a bi man but why TF would I date someone who's like 12!!!

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
I'm not 12 to all of those asking I'm between the ages of 16-25 giving out my age would be bad for secret identity but please stop shipping me and mr. Stark

[Spoody squad]

Best Aunt: what's it like having to call your dad mr.stark online?  
Spidey: awful tbh.  
Spidey: its even worse thinking people are shipping us like eww  
Dad: I agree. Your my child its fucking weird daily bugle will be getting worse from my lawyers  
Harls: I'm grossed out thinking people ship my brother and my dad.  
MJ: i think none of of like it nerd.   
Ned: I feel really uncomfortable tbh  
Shuri: we all do ned. We all do.


	32. Iron fam

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Peter: if Pluto can't be a planet let's just make it the suns moon  
Tony: thats… That's not how it works  
Peter: says who! 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Pluto deserves rights too! #plutoisaplanet fite me binch

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
Peter just get over it. It doesn't have a proper orbit to be a planet 

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm very sad I just Pluto to be a planet ;((((

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystark  
Pluto is a dwarf planet just grt over it and come watch TV with me

Son of Stark @pbp  
Okay! Can we watch onward????

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'm joining. Be up in 5 

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
The iron family is so cute

Web-slinger @Spider-PAN  
I wanna join ╥﹏╥

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Swing over we'll wait for you. 

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
I repeat!! The iron family is the cutest!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is honestly getting way more hits/kudos then I thoight it would cause its just some dumb crack fix im writing out of boredom


	33. Spidey man spidey man

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
Anyone else curious about why spiders was so happy? Like right before he got stabbed? 

Iron man can vore me @ironstan  
Like he was saying princess Shuri was amazing and shit?

Spidey-Fan @whoisspidey  
I am. @Spider-PAN what was going on?????

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Oh haha she made me new web shooters and they're amazing 

[Spoody squad]  
Spidey: was my lie on twitter believable?  
Dad: yea I'd say so  
Best Aunt: its pretty good  
Dad: maybe don't tweet your love for Shuri from the wrong account?   
Shuri: nah tweet your love for me from all accounts  
MJ: shuri is the best tbh  
Ned: wow I feel betrayed I thought I was the best  
Spidey: :(   
Spidey: I thought I was the best  
Best Aunt: so when is the surgery happening?  
Shuri: Whenever peter comes to Wakanda  
Harls: im so happy! Peter gets top surgery and now he won't almost die from wearing a binder to long  
Spidey: I'm happy too. Shuri your the best.   
Shuri: i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been non stop raining for like 20 hours and everything is flooded and it's cold.


	34. Chapter 34

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm going to visit Shuri! And get top surgery! And I'm so happy! 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Me and kids are gonna take a trip! So no one bug us. The kids include @pbp @isavedtonystank and @Spider-Pan

Pepper Potts @CEOofSI  
When I told you to tweet about this I meant to do it in a professional manner. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I do nothing professional. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
I'm very sad that @may-bee isn't going with us :(

Best Aunt @may-bee  
You know how I feel about planes I'm just gonna spend time with Pep and we can video chat. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Okay I larb u

Best Aunt @may-bee  
I larb you too

Spidey-fan @whoisspidey  
Does this mean that spiders is part of the stark family??

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
I hope so. I needed a new a father figure all the other ones died

Son of Stark @pbp  
Mood Spidey. Mood.


	35. detulus tittus

Son of Stark @pbp  
Damn I really detulus tittus and bam. No longer need a binder

NedBed @codened  
I miss uuuuu im so happy for youuuuu

EmJay @callmeMJ  
I miss you loser I'm glad you went and got your surgery but I miss your nerdy-ness

Son of Stark @pbp  
I miss u too! When I get back we need to cuddle pile! 

Spidey-Fan @whoisspidey  
Anyone else curious on why Spidey is in none of the stark pictures???

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
Its?? Called?? A?? Secret?? Identity??? For??? A??? Reason???

Spide-Fan @whoisspidey  
But you could just put your mask on for pictures. 

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
thats a lot of work so I'm happy just stepping off frame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna end the book at 40 chapters and write a second book? Opinion???


	36. Little potato

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Harls: may? Can I borrow your makeup  
May: how about I just do your makeup?   
Harls: okay! 

PotatoGuns @isavedtonystank  
I feel pretty :) (picture of Harley is glam makeup) may did it with the help of YouTube

Friday @worldsbestAI  
Tony: piccola patata  
Harls: what does that mean??  
Peter and May *laughing*  
May:*wheeze* little potato   
Harls: :(

Son of Stark @pbp   
Hehehe @isavedtonystank

Little potato @isavedtonystank  
I hate you. For multiple reasons. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Name them

Little potato @isavedtonystank  
I'm running out of sweatpants and shirts and Friday says your stealing them 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Karen would never snitch on me :( and at least I'm not stealing your leggings. 

Little potato @isavedtonystark  
You get your little boyfriend to hack my twitter 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Yup I did. @codened <3

Little potato @isavedtonystank  
I'm mad…. 

Son of Stark @pbp   
Wanna go blow stuff up? I dont have homework

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I wanna join in the blowing stuff up be there in 10

Pepper Potts @CEOofSI  
Tony really needs to stop storming out of meetings!


	37. Footprints on the ceiling

[acdec is bes]

Peter: I'm turning 18 soonnnn I'm nervous  
Sally: why are you nervous?  
Peter: I'm gonna be an ADULT  
Abe: you'll be fine. You're not 18 for another week  
Harls: being an adult is fun. College deadlines and all that shit. Plus we get to do the secret announcement.   
Peter: that's what im worried About!!!  
Abe: its weird that Harley is the same age as us but their halfway done with college  
Harls: i just finished high school early and dad helped me skip a couple years towards my degree….   
Flash: its amazing what money can do tbh  
Hars: i thought of a very mean comment but peter would be sad so I'll just agree  
Flash: I probs deserve mean comments  
Peter: no! You're doing better flash and that's a good thing.   
MJ: peter you actual puppy.   
MJ: only you could befriend your bully  
Ned: He's such a puppy. Peter come cuddles  
Peter: I can't in to busy paceing  
MJ: its not a big deal it'll go great. 

[Spoody Squad]  
Harls: (video of peter paceing on the ceiling)  
MJ: damn  
Dad: I swear if he gets foot prints on the ceiling again!   
Best Aunt: He's just nervous. I am too.   
Best Aunt: it's going to be out that my baby is spider-man


	38. Chapter 38

Son of Stark @pbp  
7 days tell I'm an adult. I'm not panicking you're panicking. 

Worm @bookeatingworm  
Being an adult is fun! Plus you have tony stark as a dad

Son of Stark @pbp  
Very true buttt a lot comes with being an adult. Like I know I'm done with highschool and stuff but I'm gonna be an ADULT 

The best @whirlybits  
Just chill out and you'll be fine @pbp just cuddle with your partners.

Best Aunt @may-bee  
I'm gonna get peter to take a nap thank you for kinds words. 

Marvel-Stan @hp_marvel_fan  
Aunt May really is the best and she is my spirit animal

Best Aunt @may-bee  
Thank you dear :)

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'm going to have two adults children…. I'm not old enough for this. Oh no. 

Huff huff puff @Huff_le_puff  
Tony stark is having a crisis about being old

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I'm not old! I'm only 49 I'm very young. 

Toast @Exp_dragoness  
Yea…. Mr.Stank is very young *eye roll *

Criminal minds @multifandompal  
Tony stark is having a mid life crisis. 

Peter Parker-Stark stan @Allie  
I think his entire life is a mid-life crisis

One of the inspirations for this fic @shleapord  
Is it roast tony stank hours?

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
I have two kids I think all hours is roast tony stank hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included all those who wrote comments and mildly stalked all of them???? Maybe? Hehe..... This is my way of showing I love you guys! But in an awkward way? Idk I'm awkward sorry.


	39. Spider-Son

Web-Slinger @Spider-PAN  
(Video) A room is seen its nice and clearly cost quite a bit of money then spider-man drops from the ceiling landing in front of the camera. "Hey guys I have a very important announcement! So I'm finally going to be signing the accords. So me being a superhero will be legal. Woo!" He gives a small nervous chuckle " so since I'm going to have to reveal my identity to sign an I get really anxious in front of crowds I'm going to do this here on twitter. Alright so Hi." He pulls his mask off "I'm Peter Parker-Stark" he smiles before the screen turns black. 

Son of Stark @pbp  
Its out now! Hi I am Spider-man.

Flash Thompson @gottagofast  
I can't believe I bullied my idol! 

nedbed @codened  
Its finally out! Guys I'm dating Spider-man!!!!!!!!

EmJay @callmeMJ  
You've know he was Spider-man for 4 years and have been dating him for 3. Loser you're such a fanboy. 

Toaster @bath  
So MJ you're not so happy to be dating Spider-man???

EmJay @callmeMJ  
Not at all. I'm happy to be dating Peter I hate that the loser puts his life at risk every night. 

Tony Stank @youknowwhoiam  
Michelle speaks the truth I'm terrified every time my baby boy gets hurt.

Spider-Son @pbp  
Awe MJ <3 and dad <3 and Ned <3 I love you all so much!!!

Spideys BF @codened  
MJ change your name so we can all be Spidey related. Please!!!!!! <3

Spideys GF @callmeMJ  
Alright….. <3 I love these two losers so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapppterrrr


	40. Chapter 40

[acdec is bes]

Mr. Harrington: so the reason that Peter was always late was to be fighting crime.   
Flash: I bullied Spider-man……   
Sally: Ha. You ran fan accounts and wrote self insert fanfics for Peter!!!  
Peter: you what?   
Flash: Sally!!!!! Why did you have to sayyyy thatttttt  
MJ: flash thristed after my bf and I had to deal with it everyday  
Cindy: we asked you if you would Fuck mary kill yourself  
Charles: this is insane! I have sleeping pictures of Spider-man!  
Peter: I get that its cool and all but like its not a big deal  
Harls: its not a big deal???? You risk your life to keep people safe  
Harls: my dad and my brother are both super hero's :)   
Ned: I've made out with Spider-man  
MJ: so have I bitch you ain't special  
Mr. Harrington: don't talk like that this is a family friendly gc  
Mr. Harrington: that has like no purpose since you all are graduates now.   
Abe: but we like this chat :(   
Abe: it can keep us freimds when we all go off to college and we listen to peters cool superhero story!!!  
Peter: yes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote 40 chapters in like a week. Some of yall could never. I've read waaaayyyy to many unfinished twitter fics from like 2018 v sad about it. I'm probably gonna write another book for this? Maybe. I might right a different one (also a twitter/texting fix) but where Harley and peter date? Because I csnnot stick to one ship you could honestly say any gau avengers ship and I'd ship it. All but starker because like ew? That's a father figure and yeaaa


End file.
